Lou on the Loose: A Reality Show

Premise:
"Lou on the Loose" will feature TUCKER "LOU" GREEN, a recently TWO-year old boy, known by his family to "pack a lot of person in a little package."  A highly active boy who mastered walking, running, and climbing before his 1st birthday, at 2 Lou's curiosity takes an exceptionally task- and process-orientation, with both exciting and hazardous results.

Series Description:
The suspense and humor of the series will live in the tense space between his parents' pride at their son's intellectual ambition and the real disasters that ensue from his exploits.  In each episode, we will set LOU ON THE LOOSE in a new location, benign to the casual observer but – as viewers will come to anticipate – thrilling new turf for Lou.  Thrilling too for Lou's parents, whose gratitude at his engagement on a task, coupled with a vaguely isn't-this-a-great-Montessori-learning-exploration rationalization, overwhelm their better judgement. Inevitably distracted, his parents lose track of Lou just long enough for DISASTER to strike. At the end of each episode, Lou's humbled parents confess their errors, learn from their mistakes, and swear never to let it happen again.  Until the next episode.

EPISODE #1 (PILOT):  LOU ON THE LOOSE IN THE BATHROOM

It's the morning rush.  Two big brothers need to be fed, dressed, teeth brushed, jackets-hats-and-shoes on in time to meet the bus.  Lou is roaming the kitchen, taking his brother REEVE's favorite "guy" and calling it "mine," throwing scrambled eggs across the room, etc. When big brother DUNCAN goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth, MOM and DAD's relief that Lou follows makes them turn a blind eye when only Duncan re-emerges from the bathroom moments later.  Off-screen we hear the WATER still running in the bathroom...

We cross-cut between the FRONT HALL where Mom and Dad tie ratty show laces (that really need replacing, must remember), zip parkas (wow, these coats are filthy, must remember to wash) and try to tame wild cases of bed-head, and the BATHROOM where LOU IS ON THE LOOSE.

Standing on the toilet to better reach the sink, Lou has uncapped the toothpaste and is decorating the perimeter of the sink in sparkly blue gel.  This task accomplished, he moves on to an experiment in hydro-paper dynamics, in which he stops up the drain, fills the bathroom sink to the brim, and empties an entire box of Kleenex into the water one sheet at a time.  The tissues make beautiful gauzy swirls as he waves his hands through the water.  "Mo!" (more) he says to himself, looking at the empty box with furrowed brow.  So he scales the shelves for a new roll of toilet paper, extracts it from the Scott tissue wrap (which he adds to his pool - blue!  pretty!), and begins to unroll the toilet paper when he hears his Mom returning to check on him.  He feigns innocence as she rounds the corner, panic-stricken as she registers the sink full of pulpy white soup with still-running water.  "Lou, what have you gotten in to NOW?" she exclaims.  She swoops him off the toilet, opens it and begins to scoop whatever bits of wet mush still cohere into the toilet bowl.  "We don't put paper in the sink, Lou!  Paper is for wiping, and blowing," she tries to explain, failing to contain her exasperation.  He stamps his feet in protest, yelling "No!" as his creation flushes away.

The episode ends with Lou's parents seated side-by-side, interviewed by an omniscient off-screen FAMILY THERAPIST who asks them questions such as, "How could you have better engaged Lou's curiosity?" or "What part of this disaster was your responsibility?" or "Toilets are very slippery; how would you have explained your decision-making process to Child Services if Lou had been gravely injured?"  The parents mumble well-intentioned, self-depracating answers with promises that tomorrow they will do better.

ADDITIONAL EPISODES:

#2:  LOU ON THE LOOSE IN THE KITCHEN

Involving beer bottles, can openers, boiling water and carving knives

#3:  LOU ON THE LOOSE ON PROSPECT PARK WEST

Involving refusal to ride in the stroller, a flat tire, a Two-year old runaway and heavy traffic

#4:  LOU ON THE LOOSE AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

Involving a very long wait; an altercation over another boy's Matchbox cars; and a desperate diversion involving an iPhone including nonsensical emails sent to Mommy's work clients, deletion of her contacts and memos, and the disappearance of essential Apps

#5:  LOU ON THE LOOSE AT TRADER JOE'S

Involving a lot of screaming, inarticulate demands for this, that and the other thing, an ineffectual "seatbelt" on a grocery cart, innocent victims of flying frozen peas, and a TJ's Associate who talks like a duck

#6:  LOU ON THE LOOSE AT LOWE'S

Involving the demise of tomato seedlings, impact testing of lightbulbs, an APB over the PA for a missing Two-year old, self-expression with spray paint, and a ride on a forklift

#7:  LOU BACK ON THE LOOSE IN THE BATHROOM

Involving experiments in flushing, such as Lego pieces, rubber lizards, Thomas the Tank Engine trains, and ballon pumpers; a basement backed up with black water; and an emergency visit from Andrew, the Metaphysical Plumber